words & art by shé

bookshelf

Tag: short humorous personal essay

  • Boatyard Bitch

    After much grief from various Boatyard Bozos, I created a group of my own: The Boatyard Bitches. Much to my delight, another capitana joined immediately. To paraphrase Sherlock Holmes (via Arthur Conan Doyle), the air of Peñasco is sweeter for my presence. Surfing helps deal with dodos too. When the tide is low and the…

  • Clan Markings

    A bright yellow fish I’d never seen before accompanied my morning swim today. Three inches long and roundish, it may have been attracted by my neon marigold swimsuit. This singular pisces darted around me the entire mile (with my other marine friends), and I was sad to exit the Sea and leave it behind. I…

  • Swim Friend

    “Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.” —Rumi It was a whale. Beneath me and to the right, similar to where the dolphin had been tracking me in April. I was on my fifth length, speaking a healing mantra as I swam out into the Gulf of California. A small whale,…

  • Unleashed

    The Little Yellow Dog Gang cares not a wit for leash laws. No collars, no microchips, no fixed address, but heaps of street smarts. Yes, I’ve named them:—Valiente, the leader, male, yellow fur, floppy ears, joyful, the smallest—Beatrice, the biggest, barrel-shaped, dark brown, female, ready to rumble—Emma, shy, fine-boned, black, bat ears, female, youngest All…

  • Humorous & Haunting

    The funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time (other than the Little Yellow Dog Gang, which continues to amuse) is a video of the Danish National Symphony Orchestra performing Ennio Morricone’s “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.” Particularly the perfectly coiffed woman singing, “Wah wah wah.”  Then the sparkly-dressed conductor leads them into beauty. A…

  • Adopted

    “Love purifies. Suffering never purified anybody; suffering merely intensifies the self-directed drives within us. Any act of love, however—no matter how small—lessens anxiety’s grip, gives us a taste of tomorrow, and eases the yoke of our fears. Love, unlike virtue, is not its own reward. The reward of love is peace of mind, and peace…

  • Benevolence

    Three years in México and the language still gets away from me. To be fair, I’ve had huge misunderstandings with people in English; Spanish simply adds spice. Yesterday, slogging back from provisioning, towing the wagon, the gatekeeper at the athletic field asked, “¿Se vende?” The fatigued interpreter in my brain translated this to “What did…

  • Compañera

    Tired from a late night, I eased into the ocean and stroked away from shore after dawn. Several meters out, my eyes snagged on a large fish, same length as me, swimming in the same direction, though below and to the right. Long body, long nose, silvery gray in the gloom. My brain then registered…

  • La Bomba

    Para bailar la bomba, se necesita una poca de gracia. To dance the diesel engine water pump dance, you need a smidgen of grace. Because the mechanic everyone recommends does not respond to text, phone, email, or WhatsApp. But you have marina angels on your side, and hard-won patience. You finally garner an appointment, to…

  • In Praise of Floating Boat Hooks

    A piece of advice: given the choice of letting go of the boat hook or releasing the mooring line, always release the mooring line! Otherwise the current and S/V Habibi’s momentum will wrench the boat hook from your grasp (which you’ve used to catch the line), and you will watch with dismay as both line and…