Stuffed

I had shoved too much into the day, and now I was paying. I couldn’t find Habibi in the dark. Audrey Kayak was loaded with water and provisions – I’d also shoved too much into her.

Bright city lights prevent me from seeing the dimmer solar tiki torches I’d rigged fore and aft when the masthead light went out. Audrey persists in aiming out to sea, but I know we’re not anchored any farther west than I’ve already paddled. The wind picks up, and with it, the waves. Hundreds of dollars of groceries are lashed to the kayak. Will I lose my hard-won Costco run? It took me hours to and fro. A big bag of kettle chips rides on top of the box of solar lanterns, which obscures the bow.

Now I’m fighting a crosswind, with spray in my face, and we’re too far south. Finally I hail a nearby boat: “Second Wind, Second Wind. Habibi!” A woman answers from the transom, an angel in white. I explain the situation as a man joins her. I hold onto their stern-tied dinghy, super tired. My voice cracks. I’ve been out and about fifteen hours. “I can help you,” he says. He grabs a spotlight, then climbs into the big inflatable and cranks the motor.

When I learn that their kids sail a little boat around the bay, I know who and where they are: Habibi is only several meters east and a bit north. After being towed just a few minutes, I grab her gunwale with relief. Home!

The man – Steven – helps me offload Audrey in the bouncing swell. So much easier with two people! He throws plastic jars of peanut butter and sacks of oats and quinoa into the cockpit. When he sees all the gallon jugs I’m lifting up onto the heaving deck, he offers the use of their watermaker, “anytime. We’re always on channel 22” (VHF).

I’m not sure why I cram so many tasks into short periods of time. Learned behavior, I s’pose. It becomes a problem when I don’t balance chores with fun. Why does pleasure get short shrift? It’s fuel. Whenever I spend time immersed in the Green Room (ocean), I am refreshed and nourished. Challenges diminish. Priorities shift.

One day it occurred to me to chew my food a wee bit longer than usual. (I come from a fast-eating mother.) Since I’m a multi-tasker, I spelled BeLoved and Healing while I chomped my chicken. Wow! So delicious to taste my food, instead of merely stuffing it in my mouth, in a hurry to get to the next thing.

Savor, that’s the word. Savor everything.