essays by shé

All are Hallowed

I’m in the land where folks celebrate death, realizing that it’s merely part of the cycle. Grinning, bedecked skeletons hang from every corner, and bedsheet ghosts waft from trees and doorways. Spooky music emanates from bars and groceries alike, and sugary treats are placed on altars for the dead, along with flowers and candles.

A few weeks ago, I swam over two large white stingray bodies on the ocean floor, about two feet in diameter. Their souls had became part of the Great Sea, and a few fish took sustenance from their stark and beautiful discards. That’s how I want to go, gently sinking to the seabed, food for all.

In the meantime, I tell the nibbling fish that are interested in my calves, “Not yet.” I still want to watch seahorses in the wild, hear more baby whales, gather the courage to swim with dolphins, and surf with seals. It’s a big wide wonderful world we live in, and this stretch of the Gulf of California astonishes every single day. This morning golden eyes greeted me from a stout cream and chocolate, intricately designed puffer.

“See anything good?” beachwalkers ask me when I emerge.

Oh yes. Most definitely yes.


Pumpkin*
for Maureen

Shivering orange light
— circle, heart, sliver
Suppose she gets the card
burnt in shards of squash
Hallowe'en postal service:
no charge to communing witches
Photo of Shé in Kamilche USA, Hallowe’en 2001
Photo of Shé in Kamilche USA, Hallowe’en 2001

*from the forthcoming book of poems and paintings, Dance First, Ask Questions Later

4 responses to “All are Hallowed”

  1. Betty in Kailua Avatar
    Betty in Kailua

    Love the images you painted in my mind. Love especially the underwater world 🥰

  2. Shé Avatar

    Thanks so much! XO

  3. cm4hypatia Avatar

    This is so beautiful!

    My grief counselor, who is of that culture, suggested I make an offenda. I’m almost finished with it: pumpkins, flowers, a Book of Common Prayer, a photo of Don baptising a baby at San Juan, candles. I haven’t yet figured out what food to put on it; I’m sure it will be fruit, since Don loved all of it. Membrillo, to be sure. I love the way the San Juan congregation he founded handles death; last year they made the most beautiful ofrenda I’ve ever seen.

    And this year I am being a docent for Salmon Experience days at the Bayshore Preserve on Johns Creek (when you were in this area it was a golf course; the Squaxin Tribe has bought it back there used to be one or two longhouses there — and Capitol Land Trust has worked to take it back to native vegetation and saltmarshes). So talking with people about the salmon cycle, the purposefulness of reproduction and death, is a gift for me at this season, soon to be a year after Don’s death.

    1. Shé Avatar

      Thanks so much, Carolyn. Sending big love to you. Would love to see a photo of the altar you make. Very glad to hear about more Squaxin Land. Had some good friends in Kamilche. And blessings to Cap Land Trust. Is Eric still the director? We worked at Timberland together. XO

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